Derek Venturi Was Having Trouble Sleeping
by Temple Trees
Summary: Derek. Casey. Feelings. Need I Say More? Chapter 6 is here!
1. ONE: In Which Our Hero Eats His Emotions

Chapter One

In Which Our Hero Eats His Emotions.

Derek Venturi could not sleep. Which, to those of you who know him, is something quite out of the ordinary. Now, for us everyday people, we are aware that sleep deprivation is often tied to something emotional. Like your conscience or your heart. But as Derek Venturi has never suffered from either appendage, he naturally assumed it had something to do with his stomach, like gas or hunger. Poor boy, how sadly mistaken he is. However, Derek Venturi is not completely oblivious. Derek knew he had a problem. Not a small, this-sucks-but-I-can-deal problem, but a big what-the-fuck-is-this kind of problem. In other words he was royally screwed. He was shit out of luck. But he had figured that in ignoring the problem, it would eventually go away. So four am that night or morning Derek decided to fix the problem the only way he knew how. He was going to go binge on whatever food he could find in the kitchen.

Two hours and close to fifteen hundred calories later, Derek rubbed his aching stomach and tried to ignore the empty, painful feeling located in a area rather close to his heart. He sat at the kitchen counter with his head in his hands trying to metaphorically bury his head in the sand. Eventually over eating and lack of sleep took hold and Derek pillowed his head on his arms and fell into a deep, yet troubled sleep.

This was how is step-mother Nora found him a couple hours later. She stumbled into the kitchen sleepily, anxious for the coffee that would get her through the crazy McDonald/Venturi week day morning. She let out a surprised yelp at the sight of her step-son and the mess of food surrounding him. _Oh Geez_, she thought as gazed around at messy and empty kitchen. _Guess we're having cereal for breakfast_. She turned the coffee pot on and turned to wake up Derek. She gently shook his shoulder and called his name. He mumbled something incoherent, and continued to sleep. Nora looked her step-son in confusion, unsure of what to do next. Luckily George came into the kitchen, having smelt the sweet smell of a strong pot of coffee. Nora turned to him, gesturing at his sleeping son.

"George! Wake him up!" Nora whispered loudly. George looked her blankly for a moment, still half a sleep. He then noticed the mess in the kitchen, and the sleep cleared from his eyes.

"Der-ek!" He yelled. He roughly grabbed his sons shoulders and shook him awake. Derek jerked awake in confusion_, Where the hell was he and why was his face sticky?_ Nausea rolled around his stomach, brining into focus the copious amounts of food he had consumed last night. He swallowed heavily in order to keep the contents of his stomach where it belonged. George tapped his shoulder, and Derek gingerly turned around on the bar stool to face his angry father and concerned step-mother. He grimaced at the sight of his fathers face.

"Derek, get up and clean this mess up. NOW!" George thundered. Nora ran soothing hand down her husbands arm.

"Come on Derek, I'll help you." She put an empty container of ice cream in the garbage and began wiping down the counters. Derek slowly got of the stool and began cleaning. George looked on perplexed, stunned by his sons easy acceptance. Deciding not to question a good thing, he ambled of to collect the newspaper. Nora took the opportunity to have a little talk with the silent Derek.

"Derek do you want to tell me what this is about?" She swept her arms around the kitchen, indicating the food. Derek's gaze followed her arms and his stomach did a little dance.

"I was hungry." Nora looked at him in disbelief.

"Hungry? Derek I've seen you hungry. This is not hungry. This is what we call stress eating."

"Stress eating? Nora, do I look like the type of person that 'stress eats'?" Derek snorted and rolled his eyes. But Nora caught the look of uncertainty that flashed in his eyes a moment before his false bravado took over.

"Something is bothering you Derek. I can tell. But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just think you should at least admit to yourself that you have feelings, so that you don't eat your way to a heart attack." She laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder and then began getting the cereal out for the rest of her children. Derek put the last dish in the drying rack and began to leave the room. He turned around at the last minute.

"Nora, for the record. I Derek Venturi never have these feelings that you spoke of. I'm completely feeling free. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go grab the shower before your eldest daughter." And with that he left the kitchen.


	2. TWO: In Which Our Hero Takes A Shower

Chapter 2

In Which Our Hero Takes A Shower And Reveals His Problem.

Derek stood still in the shower, letting the warm water run down his back. His poor abused stomach was still not feeling the best, but the pain in his head seemed to have subsided. The ache near his heart, however, had yet to reside. But this author and you dear readers know, Derek is, emotionally, the proverbial closed book. He neither admits to having feelings or shows said feelings. So he again chalked it up to indigestion forced his thoughts away from the Problem. He relaxed into the spray of water and thought about the fact that today was the beginning of his last month in high school. _Finally_, he though as he reached for the shampoo. He was off to the USA in September thanks to his full Hockey scholarship. Which meant that very soon, he would be out of this place. _Away from the McDonald/Venturi clan, away from-_. He stopped his thoughts. He was not going to think about the Problem. Unfortunately for Derek, the aforementioned Problem was stomping her way angrily towards the bathroom.

BANG! BANG! BANG! Derek jumped, startled, and was torn away from his internal battle. He sighed, turned off the shower and rub bed the ache in his chest.

"DER-EK! Hurry up! I am not going to be late for school again! Get out!" Casey McDonald screamed from the other side of the bathroom door. Derek winced at the hostility in her voice and wrapped a towel around his waist. He pulled open the bathroom door slowly. Casey stood outside arms crossed in her usual pose of defiance, head tilted back in a fuck you kind of way. Her hair was tossed messily on top of her head and her dancers form was clad in boxer shorts and a tank top. He swallowed the lump in his throat and willed his body to stop reacting. He wanted to kill her for becoming so gorgeous. It had snuck up on him and left him blind sided. One minute she was annoying, geeky Casey, and the next she was infinitely more. It took everything in him not to blurt out the truth and kiss her. Only the thought that it was some kind of spiritual incest held him back. That, and the thought, that she would laugh at him. And that laugh would just…just kill him. So he instead assumed his own battle stance. She wanted a fight and he was feeling mean, and bitter enough to give it to her.

"Aww what's the matter Case? Our little keener doesn't want to wreck her spotless record? You know, I think that I may need to spend a little extra time in the bathroom today." He sneered at her and began to close the door. The door connected with her arm and slammed open. He jumped back as she shoved her way into the bathroom. He smirked at her and began applying shaving cream to his face.

"Get out off here Derek. I really need to take a shower." Shoved him away from the sink. He grabbed his razor and leaned over to give her a sniff; fresh and sexy. He made a audible sniffing sound and smirked at her.

"Yeh. You really do."

"Fuck off _Der_."

"Kiss ass _Case_."

She scowled at him in the mirror. He scowled right back. The stood glaring at each other for a good two minutes when finally she through up her hands and left the room, slamming the door behind her. Derek stared at his reflection in disgust.


	3. THREE:In Which Our Hero Feels Threatened

Chapter 3

In Which Our Hero Feels Threatened

As Derek pulled up in front the high school, Casey jumped out and slammed the passenger side door. She was still pissed from this mornings bathroom fight. Derek grumbled under his breath, something about women and PMS. This author is highly appalled at Derek's comments sometimes. Imagine if Casey had heard that one! Anyways, Derek mumbled and grumbled and slowly made his way inside school, rubbing his chest as he went. He had hardly taken two steps in the door when his friend Ralph bounded up to him (I say bounded, because Ralph is like a puppy. A big over-grown, not so smart, puppy whose paws, are too big for his body. Puppies bound as does Ralph).

"Hey dude! Did you hear about the new guy?" greeted Ralph eagerly.

" Dude. I just walked in the door. Let me breathe a little before attack me." Derek walked towards his locker with Ralph trailing behind. "Okay. So tell me about this new guy." encouraged Derek.

" Apparently he just, like, transferred here from-" began Ralph.

"New York! How hot is that!" squealed Kendra as she (quite rudely) cut off Ralph. Derek glanced at his ex-girlfriend who was practically jumping up and down in excitement. He shook his head. _God her voice is annoying. What the hell had he ever seen in her? _He thought as she continued chirping about the new guy. As usual Derek was not really paying attention, but he did, however, catch a few points about this new guy; he transferred from New York, his name was Nick Andrews, was really, really, cute, wore a leather jacket, and, like, was loaded, like. Kendra was still talking two minutes later and Derek was still zoning. When Kendra said something that shook the world from is axes. Derek dropped his bag and Ralph looked like he was about to faint.

"What did you just say?" asked Derek in a deceptively calm and quite voice. Kendra smirked in satisfaction. Don't think she had not noticed Derek's lack of attention. She spoke again, savoring the words and the looks on the boys faces.

"I said, that the new guy was so good looking, and funny, he's bound to knock you off your throne Derek Venturi. In fact I've heard several people already saying how Nick was now the coolest guy in school. Everybody loves him." She smiled smugly, loving Derek's reaction. Ralph stuttered in protest and began arguing with Kendra on why Derek will always be the coolest guy in school. Derek couldn't hear what they were saying over the thundering noise in head. He was in a state of complete and utter shock. Someone was cooler than him? Ralph and Kendra's voice faded in the background as something across the hall caught his attention. Casey was rounding a corner in a hurry, unaware of the fact that the new guy Nick was standing on the other side talking to a teacher. Derek watched with his breath held, as the inevitable happened, and Casey went flying into Nick, all her books and papers flying. Casey slowly looked up as if too embarrassed to see who she hit. Her eyes widened when she saw the smiling, gorgeous face of Nick Andrews. She stuttered slightly and blushed while he grinned and checked her out. Casey smiled shyly back.

Back Across the hall Derek released the breath he was holding as his stomach dropped to his feet. His chest twisted painfully as he saw Casey smile at the new guy; neither of them had let go of the other.

"Look Ralph, Casey's fallen for him too!" remarked Kendra. Derek shook his head. Trying to get a grip on his emotions.

**Thanks for reading. Please review. I know that was a rather short chapter but I will be updating within the next couple days.**


	4. FOUR: In Which Our Hero Loses His Cool

Chapter 4 In Which Our Hero Looses His Cool

Chapter 4

In Which Our Hero Looses His Cool. In More Ways Than One.

Derek slammed his front door. Hard. The purpose of this action was to indicate his menacing mood to the rest of his unsuspecting household. Unfortunately for the aforementioned occupants, the TV was too loud for them to hear. Oh dear. He stalked into the living room. His already rather murderous expression turned so murderous it was comical, as he saw the seating arrangement in the living room.

"Out. Of. My. Chair. NOW!" Edwin let out a surprise yelp as Derek yelled and grabbed his sweater, he bolted from his relaxed, yet ill advised, position in Derek's chair.

"Dude, chill, you weren't even here!" Edwin placated as he rubbed his shoulder. Lizzy stared at Derek, a little perturbed. Derek was rude, arrogant and a sometimes a jerk, but he looked down right scary today. Derek caught Lizzy staring at him in a disturbingly concerned way, and just sighed. Flinging himself into his now empty chair, he grabbed the remote and turned to a Family Guy re-run, trying to block out the turmoil in his head.

Two mindless, albeit funny, hours later, Lizzy made a comment that effectively ruined his pleasantly, TV induced, numbness.

"Hey! Where's Cassie?" she looked around the room, clearly shocked that she had not noticed the absence of her much beloved, older sibling. Derek groaned under his breath as the days events came right back into focus. Nora, who was busy whipping up a fabulous dinner in the kitchen, poked her head out to answer Lizzy's question.

"Oh, she's got a hot date with this new boy in school. She offered to show him around today." Nora grinned and went back to cooking, blissfully ignorant of the proverbial steam coming out of poor Derek's ears.

Derek felt his insides clench and his heart…well it burned. She had actually gone out with him! Derek had not known that; he had assumed, when she had not come home, that she was over at Emily's studying, or something equally loser-ish. But she was on a date! With a guy. With a guy she just met. It was bad enough when she dated guys from home. But a new guy? A guy from New York? It was outrageous. It was inconceivable. It was unbelievably painful.

Lizzy looked at Derek, alarmed, as he flung the remote at the innocent television set. A muscle in his cheek was twitching in a random pattern and his fists were white from clenching. He sat counting to ten in an effort to control his breathing and his rampant emotions. When he felt like he was somewhat in control of his facial expressions, he calmly got up from his chair and climbed the stairs to his bedroom. When he entered his room, he _quietly_ shut the door. He did not slam the door as he had done previously. Evidently, he did not want to let his family in on his current mood.

But alas his family was not so easily fooled. It was very apparent to a shocked Lizzy and Edwin that Derek's less than happy mood had everything to do with one Casey McDonald. This may seem as a big conclusion for one to jump to, especially given Derek and Casey's history. But Lizzy and Edwin had an inside track to the why and how their siblings behaved in certain way. This came from a copious amount of charts and plenty of spying. So the two puzzled out Derek's behavior and Casey's connection from their seats on the couch in silence. Nora ran into the living room, having heard the noise a TV makes when it is hit with a converter.

"What's going on? Where's Derek?" She glanced between Lizzy and Edwin, waiting for an answer. Communicating through a complicated and undecipherable code of blinks and mouth twitching, the two younger siblings tactfully agreed to keep their conclusions to themselves.

"Uh, Derek just went upstairs to take a nap before dinner." Mumbled Edwin.

"What was that loud noise?" She asked, still suspicious. Because, while she and George are bit oblivious, they are not completely stupid, she had seen and noted their weird facial movements.

"Nothing. Me and Derek were just fighting over the remote before he went upstairs." Replied Lizzy, much more smoothly then Edwin. Nora gave them about a minute lecture on rough housing in the house (which, by the way, has always confused this author, because it is called Rough Housing. Doesn't the name itself imply that it is done in the house?). Anyways, Nora gave her lecture and than went back into the kitchen to resume cooking, and our two fabulous spymasters headed upstairs to compare notes.

An hour later Nora had dinner on the table and called everyone down. Derek left his room; his hunger overriding his need to hide. He slumped in his seat, and refused to talk. Casey's empty seat at the table was practically screaming at him. Derek shoved his plate away in disgust. This muscle in his cheek began to twitch again. This whole thing was ruining his appetite. Nothing, _ever_, ruined his appetite. He stared at the table, while Lizzy and Edwin tried to cover his silence by talking incessantly. Nora looked at Derek in concern. Yesterday it was binge eating and today it was no eating at all. Nora looked at her husband for guidance, but George was busy laughing at a knock knock joke, Edwin was in the process of telling. Nora sighed, she knew, of course, that her husband was not the most intuitive person, but this was ridiculous. She resolved to speak with him later tonight and then they would dissect Derek's behavior together.

After a hideously long dinner filled with concerned looks from Nora, Derek excused himself and headed back up to his room. Only he never made it to his room. On the way he was sidetracked by Casey's open door. He stepped gingerly inside. He sniffed and her scent filled his nose. He snorted in disgust when he caught himself sniffing for more of her. Derek Venturi did not resort to such maudlin things like sniffing a girls room. Derek Venturi did not even know what maudlin meant. He slumped down on the edge of her bed and placed his head in his hands. He sat there for a long time. Each long hour adding to the anger and hurt churning in his gut.

That is how Casey found him when she happily walked into her room. She gasped when she saw Derek sitting on her bed. He heard her gasp and looked up. His eyes took her in. Her hair was windblown and ruffled. And her eyes. God her eyes. They had that glazed over dreamy look of a freshly kissed girl. His eye's darkened with rage. He shot up from her bed.

"Where the HELL have you been?" He stepped toward her, his actions stilted. She started in surprise, but held her ground. Indigent fury at his tone rose up in her. She tossed her head.

"That is none of your business! But actually would you care to tell _me _why the HELL your in _my_ room?" She stared straight back at him refusing to back down. She had not yet realized that this was not just another fight. This was different.

He stepped closer again. This time grabbing her shoulders and digging in. He was still under the impression that he was in control of his emotions. He stared at her face. Her perfume wafted around him, leaving him unable to breathe anything but her. It plunged him to a murderous rage to think that someone else had been this close. Close enough to smell, close enough to touch, close enough to kiss... His eyes focused on her lips.

"You let him kiss you!" His hands were shaking and his face was red. Casey was just as furious, just as red.

"That is absolutely none of your business so back off y-"

"You let some guy, some new guy you hardly know, kiss you?!" Derek was not conscious at all anymore. His actions and words were beyond his control.

"His name is Nick Andrews. And he's incredibly smart and sophisticated. He's from _New York." _She threw the last part out like a gauntlet, hitting Derek's insecurity about cute, big city, new guys, hard. He barely heard her through the pounding in his skull.

"You let him touch you. If you ever let him put his hands on you again, I will kill him!" he spoke through his teeth. Casey's eyes widened in shock, anger and if this author is not mistaken, fear.

"I wanted his hands on me. And I want _yours_ off now!" She regretted her words the moment they came out, realizing the challenge she had just unconsciously made. Derek's eyes narrowed and his brain shut down. Everything he did was pure instinct now. He cupped her head roughly and smashed his lips against hers. The kiss was meant to be hard and punishing. A lesson, not to push him again. But the moment his lips met the silkiness of hers, his intentions changed. He began to caress instead of bruise, savor instead of rush. Casey might have been able to resist if the kiss had remained the same, but the moment his mouth turned gentle, she had no escape. Her mouth softened and kissed back, her hands found them selves in his hair. Derek moaned low in his throat at the feel of her hands tugging at his hair. His lips moved over hers again and again. Savoring her sweet taste. He swallowed her moans like a starving man before a banquet, unable to get enough. She was everything. Everything he had and everything he ever wanted. He needed her. He felt her tongue hesitantly explore his mouth and he nearly wept because he knew he was wrecked. The whole world had whittled down until there was nothing and no one but her. And it was wrong. So hideously wrong. She was his step sister and therefore out of his reach. He groaned at the thought and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. If he was going to go to hell, he might as well make it worth it. A noise from the hall way jerked him from the haze he was in. Marti. She was crying for him. Reality came crashing down on him. Casey was not for him. He tore his mouth from her and pushed her away. His resolve nearly broke when he saw her glazed eyes and swollen lips. He glared at her cruelly.

"Don't push me again." He pushed past her and out the door. Casey sunk on her bed with her hand to her mouth.

Derek did not stop moving or starting thinking until he had Marti tucked back into her bed and he himself tucked into his. He stared at ceiling the whole night. Derek Venturi had lost his cool.

**Hey peeps. Thanks for the reviews. I thoroughly appreciate it. I hop you all enjoy this chapter. Happy Reading!**


	5. FIVE:In Which Our Hero Acts Like A Idiot

**Chapter 5 – In Which Our Hero Discovers Atomic Energy**

The next morning brought an auspicious gloom to the Venturi/McDonald household. Derek, who is known for his witty and biting breakfast conversation, barely spoke. Or ate for that matter. Or even cast a glance in Casey's general direction. Casey was alternating between sneaking glances at Derek and looking down at her untouched bowl of cereal. Edwin and Lizzie were in no way helping the quiet, as they had their nosy little heads buried in a pie chart of some sort. And to top it all off, Marti was upset because Casey wouldn't play Cat with her, because she was too busy staring at Derek. The only bright side to the morning was the fact that George and Nora were absent, and therefore did not witness the unsightly awkwardness that was this breakfast. Judging from the giggles heard from the basement door, things were decidedly not awkward in their basement haven.

As Nora let out a particularly loud giggle, Derek let out a particularly loud groan of disgust. His eyes, crusty and bloated from a long night of staring at the ceiling, rolled towards the sky. Casey jumped, absurdly shocked by Derek's sound of disgust. His eyes met hers on the way down and he jumped up from the table, glared at Casey for good measure, and exited stage left. Lizzie and Edwin furiously crossed out their current pie chart and started a new one. Casey sat still for a moment, intent on blinking back the tears threatening to pour. But, alas, the emotional onslaught of frustration, confusion, anger and hurt, refused to be barricaded. With impressive speed she managed to make it to her room before the tears began to track down her face.

Derek flinched as he heard the bang of Casey's door slamming. He ruefully rubbed a hand through his hair and blessed the heavens for making today a Saturday. He slumped back on his bed and began pondering on the construction of a time machine. Because surely a time machine was the only way out of this god forsaken mess.

Casey sat on the other side of their shared wall constructing a plan of her own. And, in theory, her plan was as ludicrous as his. She was going to make Derek Venturi hers. Because she wanted him. Quite desperately. She was also fairly sure he wanted her. The kiss they had shared was proof that he felt at least a little of what she felt for him. So she would seduce him. Only, being our always-pragmatic Casey, she would heavily research the matter first.

Derek looked up from his time machine doodles, as he heard Casey's door reopen. She ran down the stairs, shouting to her parents as she ran out the door. He shook his head and slammed his fist down on his paper. Only Casey would go study during a crisis like this. He kissed her for Christ's sake. KISSED HER. WITH TONGUE. And besides the hideously awkward breakfast, Casey was just reverting to her usual weekend habits. Like going to the fucking library. Not coming up with the formula for controlling time. Where were her goddamn priorities? What a freak. What an insanely hot freak.

Our esteemed hero left shortly after our heroine. He was headed to the home of his best friend. And while Sam's house would not really be a sufficient distraction from one Casey McDonald, it was as sight better than having Lizzie and Edwin whispering intently outside his door. When he arrived at Sam's house he was pleasantly surprised to note that his favorite golden retriever, also known as his other best friend Ralph, was also visiting. The three immediately headed to Sam's couch and did what most teenage boys do best. Drink and fabricate stories that strongly embellished their experience with the opposite sex.

More than few beers later, Derek was feeling remarkably better about life in general, and came up the with the ideal plan to get over Casey. In other word, it was a dismally idiotic plan that would surely only add to his current troubles. But being a member of the male species, and as a result not very smart, he was confident with his plan and felt much like Einstein upon discovering Atomic Energy, entirely too smug. His plan was as follows. Get drunk and hook up with sluts. Clearly a massive mistake. But our hero is determined. So as he stumbles off to his certain doom, this author cannot help but think young Derek's plan would probably end much the same way as Einstein's. With a rather large bang.

**Hope you enjoy. Chapter 6 will be up tomorrow. I promise. Really. I do. **

**Happy Reading!**


	6. SIX: In Which Our Heroine Googles Sex

**Chapter 6 – In Which Our Heroine Googles Sex**

Casey McDonald was having difficulty walking. Our intrepid heroine was currently staggering up to her home, excited to start her far-fetched plan of making our obtuse hero fall in love with her. Her legs seemed to sag in the middle and her back was hunched over like a turtle's. She looked like a drunken Quasimodo. Her best friend Emily, perched on the McDonald porch, turned her head to the side quizzically and then jumped up in surprised panic. There was only one thing that would make Casey, trained dancer, walk like a jacked up Quasimodo.

"OMG. You've been to the library! What assignment have I forgotten about? Did we have something in History? Science? French? Gym? OMG!" Emily twittered, dancing around Casey like a startled bird. Casey turned her gaze away from "How to Turn Him On" and onto her twittering friend. Emily's words slowly sank into her overheated brain. Overheated due to too many books featuring the words horny, lust, man juice, love rod and spear. This author is disgusted by Casey's trashy new reading habit.

"We have an assignment due on Monday?" Casey exclaimed, all thoughts of love rods forgotten. Emily stopped convulsing and stared at Casey.

"That's what I'm asking you! You're the one who went to the library and came back looking like a drunk version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame!"

"The Hunchback of Notre Dame?"

Emily gestured at Casey posture and awkward leg angle.

"Oh sorry for the confusion, I was just at the library doing research on how to seduce someone." Casey held up "How to Turn Him On" proudly. Emily's eye popped not so beautifully as she stared at Casey, not entirely sure she heard right. As her silence stretched on for far to long, Casey looked up from a really _inspiring_ diagram, and met Emily's really confused, shocked, horrified eyes.

"Oh. Oh! I didn't tell you what happened yet! Derek kissed me yesterday!"

"WHAT?" If anything, Emily's eyes looked even more confused, shocked and terrified. But her curiosity overrode all three.

"With _tongue_?"

"With _tongue_. Oh Em, it was the most passionate kiss I have ever experienced. And I know that it's extremely weird considering our parents are married, and we have a nasty past. But after that kiss… I can't go back to pretending that I don't have these feelings." Emily forgot her horror and shock quite quickly as concern for her best friend overcame her.

"Oh Case! What happened after you kissed?"

"Derek stormed off." Casey said sadly. She shook her head in determination. He would most certainly not run away from her again.

"Casey…do you think he returns your feeling?

" I think so. He was so angry that I went out with Nick you know, and then when he kissed me it felt like he was just as shaken as I was. But it's so confusing with him and his cool guy attitude. So that's why I have to come up with a plan. Im going to find out how he feels."

Emily grinned suddenly and grabbed the book from Casey's hand.

"Let's get started."

Meanwhile, Mr. Venturi was having trouble telling the difference between the two girls on either side of him. They both had hair, faces and bodies, and really it was becoming too much of an effort for him to care. His stupid plan was going well. Absurdly well. He was incapacitated to the point of being unable to count and if he was reading the signs right and uh… _counting_ correctly, he would probably end up with two random, dare I say hot, girls in his bed. That being said, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a man would find _any_ two women willing to copulate with him at the same time, hot. His head bobbed as if it was not anchored to his neck as he swung his head towards the girl on his left. He tried to find her ear with his mouth but awkwardly ended up with a clump of her hair threatening to choke him. He spat out her hair and impatiently brushed her hair (why couldn't he tell what colour it was?) away.

"Youse about ready to hed up to the up-hick-stairs?" Derek's slushy brain assumed that this was said in a sexy, husky tone, but he was not all that sure. He really didn't have to worry; being the type of girl willing to see her best friend naked and in all kinds of positions, what Derek _said_ was not that important.

"Sure. Krissy, lets show Derek how far you can bend backwards." The charming pair of girls giggled and led Derek up the stairs. They kissed and teased him into the master bedroom. As the door shut behind them, Derek had a rather ominous vision of Casey beating him with a dust buster. Always trust your instincts, ma petite.

Casey stood in front of the mirror blinking at her reflection.

"I look like a prostitute."

"You do not look like a prostitute! If anything you look like a high priced hooker."

"A high priced hooker."

"You know what I mean! Classy but sexy."

"High priced hooker = Classy but sexy?"

"Yes! Oh for the love of God Case, calm down! It's only some cleavage and little eyeliner!"

"Well, as long as I look like a high priced _hooker, _I guess it's ok."

"I just spent my afternoon reading "The Key To His Pleasure" Your sarcasm is _not _appreciated."  
"Are you sure this is going to work? Derek will probably just tell me I look like a clown/prostitute and laugh at me."

"Trust me Case. No one will be laughing when they see you walk into that party."

"Why? Cause they're two busy checking their wallets for my fee?"

"URGGHH! Why did you ask for my help?!"

"I'm sorry! I'm just really nervous. Derek is Derek and I'm me… how am I supposed to overcome those odds?" Casey slumped down on her bed with a defeated sigh. Emily grabbed her shoulders and gave them a sharp shake.

"Casey! What is this? All afternoon you were confident and strong. Don't loose that now! Buck up. We are going to go to that party and you are going to shake what your mama gave ya!"

"_Shake what my mamma gave me_."

"Shut up."

Our heroine and her best friend approached Sam's front door, and his impromptu party. Casey nervously tugged up her low cut t-shirt. Upon seeing the gesture Emily grabbed Casey's right hand and dragged her to the front door.

"Okay. One more run through. You walk in. Derek and Friends look up from couch, floor etc., and stare in shock at the new hot arrivals – You and Me - than sauntering casually, the two of us head into the kitchen and grab a drink. _Completely_ ignoring the aforementioned Derek and Friends. We mix and mingle, some cute strangers ask us to dance. Derek is overcome with jealousy, pulls you into the next room and the two of you come to terms with your feelings. Okay?"

"Um… yah… sounds _good_, although I'm not sure I know how to saunter."

"Sway your hips Case."

"K. K. Let's go. Before I back out."

Casey and Emily burst through the door in, what this author can only describe as a cloud of perfume and hotness. And boys everywhere (the couch, the floor, the wall) turned to stare at Casey and Emily. Only there was one slight problem. While the Friends part of the equation was all accounted for (Ralph had his tongue out), the Derek part was, well, nowhere to be seen.

That is because Derek was occupied in the master bedroom trying to complete his idiotic plan. But as he lay prostrate on the large king sized bed he came to the conclusion that this might not be as easy as it looked.

**Read and review please!!! Happy Reading. **


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